When the sign says the train will be 0:05 late, it won’t be 0:05 late. If it were going to be 0:05 late, they wouldn’t say anything at all. In reality it will be 0:30 late. But they won’t say it will be 0:30 late, because that would mean the train will be 1:30 late.

I got off a good line when I got on the train. I stepped in, saw a retirement-age couple already seated, and asked, Philadelphia? They said, yeah, that’s where they’re going, but they’re not sure either, they hope they’re in the right place. I said, yeah, I think this is right. (Pause) And, if there’s one thing last week’s news has taught us, it’s that you can trust a guy in a suit.

That got a laff.

Ads in the Newark train station

A big picture of a hot-dog guy holding a mustard-slathered beauty, next to the words: You Want Cancer With That? Medical research shows hot dogs increase your risk of cancer… [An ad for some law firm that’s suing food manufacturers.]

The Retreat at Princeton
Inpatient Alcohol and Drug Treatment for Executives & Professionals
www.RetreatAtPrinceton.com

P.S. I have no idea why, but this particular entry seems to attract a log of spam!